‘curiosity killed a cat’

 

Do you ever just look at someone and imagine things that shouldn’t even be in your head? I mean think about where you are, who you are with and the atmosphere surrounding you. I am in a lecture I don’t know this man, this lecturer and nothing about him inspires such thoughts but I just happen to imagine and think about it while also not being distracted from what he is teaching about. How would it be like to kiss a man with such a beard? Its short and trimmed but it’s also not so neat. How will the small studs feel against my skin, would it make it crawl or would it excite me? The way he speaks, his lips are thin and the top lip almost hides under his beard. Why do I even imagine myself kiss them despite all of the other thoughts. I raise my hand to his question and answer but because of the arousal my brain is swimming in, I am embarrassed by my salacious and seductive tone and body language; he almost can’t stop looking at me for a second. I grab my coffee and sip on it to distract myself but what am I distracting myself from when I am not sexually attracted to this man in anyway. I am just imagining what it’s like to be under his skin. He is quite short, I am a tad bit taller than him and I being a plus girl, I am a bit thicker than him but certainly nothing he wouldn’t handle. How does it happen with other students, what leads them to having relationships with their professors, is it such thoughts as mine? But mine aren’t inspired by anything other than curiosity. I even know that some of the students have convinced themselves that I flirt with these professors but I don’t. Its who I am. I have made it be who I am. A woman with such a fervent and arousing demeanour that breeds lustrous imaginings in which the main shouldn’t. I have made myself into a self-loving woman with an impeccable amount of pride and ego brought to her by the standard of her hard work and the beauty of her unique face. Nothing unusual, just the unsymmetrical face she has, a left side cheek is bigger than the right and its toned than the other. I have become a woman defined by the word sexy. Not to dwell on to that, I believe I have a very sexual mind and aura, I only hate it when it comes at such times like these as I refuse to prohibit my mind from not thinking or imagining because it will kill my creativity. So, this lecturer, I have only met him today and here I am sat on the front desk very close to where he stands and my eyes scan his body like I am interested in it when all I am is curiosity. His body doesn’t look like he has a bulging belly but what if its small, would that turn me off? Is his chest shaved or hairy, I love my men not so hairy but whether or not shaved, I really haven’t let it dominate my imagination? If he was mine, I wonder what would I do to him. What would I want to see? Does this professor speak dirty? If he did what is the shape of his lips saying about what dirty words he could utter. What kind of dirty does he speak? The I want to fuck your mouth so bad you will feel like your jaw is broken, does he moan, what would he sound like? He doesn’t have a deep voice or a soft one either so what does he sound like when he is having sex. I am just curious. I see myself on my knees unbuckling his pants. Now the bigger thing, what does he really look like down there? What will I want to see? A strong hard man or a boy that needs to be awakened into a strong monstrous man? What makes my body yearn? I don’t know. What I know is as I answer to one of his questions concerning the film and television subject, I keep seeing these flashes on his fingers grasping onto my hair pulling my face towards his navel, making show that I feel all of him in my mouth, big or small. I don’t want to imagine the taste as every man is like red wine. They may all be red but they taste different, I like mine very, very bitter and yet some are very sweet – my wine I mean. I imagine his nectar sliding down my mouth, his body slamming hard on my face and his shaft moving in my mouth. I am not attracted to him it’s just curiosity. What is it that makes me like this? Why do I constantly imagine men naked? Why can’t I just look at a man and not sexualise them. Why am I so interested? I don’t even like him and yet I feel like fucking him. Why? I am just so curious.